Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Lost

I was going to blog about another issue, but that will have to wait until another time. Right now, I am back to being lost again. And, this time, I don't know what to do about it. It's not like I'm single, and can go off and "find myself". I have to live my life, take care of my family, and somehow figure things out.

It's mostly about friendships right now. I wonder who my true friends are, who thinks of me as a friend. Lately, Facebook is a source of doubt for me. I leave comments for others, and sometimes they aren't responded to. That makes me wonder if I said the wrong thing? Did I offend them? Did I make things worse? I see everyone post about what they did, and often times, I feel left out. I want to be included. I need human contact. Whenever I try to get people together, it fails miserably. The ones I thought I could count on, should be able to count on, I can't. Including family. Sometimes I feel like I'm typing with invisible ink.

What has happened to me???!!! I feel like an emo teenager, back in high school again!!! I don't like drama, but here I am, creating my own, and I don't like it!!! But, I'm not happy with myself. I feel like I should be doing more, I want to be doing more, but I don't know what. I don't know how to fix myself this time.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't find this offensive. But have you thought about trying an anti depressant? I think it might be some help to you, just to get you feeling better and back on track. It seems from reading your status updates and your blogs that you often feel really low and I wonder whether depression is a problem. I hope this doesn't upset you, I sent it with a caring heart. x

tammy said...

I wish you hadn't posted as anonymous.